thepopeswife

* Trevor was getting ready to leave for the annual men's ski retreat.

* We were banning movies (well, giving them up, so to speak, for Lent . . . kind of started with the obsession with Dan in Real Life).

* I got to talk to my FAVE radio host for the first of what would be several times.

* I was reading She's Come Undone, feeling very disturbed but unable to put it down.

* I was having pizza with a new friend who was quite pregnant.

And now, a year later . . .

* Trevor is getting ready to leave for the annual men's ski retreat.

* We wired our house so that we can watch movies on demand from Netflix (the first one we tried was Dan in Real Life, of course).

* My fave radio host is pursuing other career paths.

* I am reading a book called The Red Tent and contemplating the wonders of midwifery.

* My then-pregnant friend is now a dear friend who has a 10 month old beautiful girl.

* I am having pizza with Trevor, and also with my brother who now lives with us.

* I AM HAVING A BABY!

So yeah, I thought it was time to say that - we (Trevor and I, because you know we're kind of in this together) are officially 12 weeks along into this journey of preparing to have a baby. I cannot express how thankful we are to God, in awe of His goodness, the miracle of life, the lessons He's already teaching us on this journey. And so, thepopeswife is now thepopesbabe . . . and you can find us at www.thepopesbabe.blogspot.com. I've not posted anything yet, but plan to this evening. Thank you all faithful readers, I hope you'll follow us, pray for us, and also let us know how YOU'RE doing so we can follow you and pray for YOU (Facebook has made this so possible, maybe part of the reason I've not been blogging lately?).

Happy New Year! I feel Christmas went by in such a blur, I can't bear to take down our Christmas decorations (or maybe that's just my excuse because I simply don't feel like it?). When I think about it, the concept of decorating is quite intriguing- that objects in different shapes and colors throughout the year represent the current happenings, the events, the traditions. I know I've loved every spare minute I've been able to sit on the couch by the lit Christmas tree, and yet I always feel like I could've made time for more reflection and thoughtfulness. BUT, could turns into should which turns into obligation and regret - an unnecessary spiral that can only bring anxiety. And maybe that's why the new year is so symbolic to our culture - just after the whirlwind of the holidays, we resolve to do what we feel we missed out on the last year. I relish the hope that comes with every January, the clean slate feeling, a weight lifted off with a sense of open spaces and open time in the coming months.

We had a truly memorable Christmas celebration this year, and were thankful for another whirlwind week in Bismarck. We got in on a good share of winter weather, which made the time all the more cozy. Thanks to all for making home the wonderful place that it is!

I'm trying to take some time to think about 2008, giving the year due credit before rushing into 2009 . . . there were celebrations, mini-vacations, a mini-mission trip, various visitors, friendships forged, old friends re-connected, a "renter" in our home, movie fanaticism and fasting, The Office fanaticism in TWO different rounds, parks discovered, patio built, heaps of blessings that are too great to count. Lord, I do thank you for this life - to know that whatever any day or month or year brings, to know that YOU are good, all-knowing, and faithful. I have much hope for 2009, because I know it is in Your hands.

And I even managed to wrangle up a couple of resolutions that I thought would be fun to keep this year - small, in-the-moment things that I just forget. The first: use my teapots more often. You see, I have a freezer FULL of beautiful teapots, and I love each and every one of them, but just let them sit and collect dust! (yes, a freezer full, try to figure that one out). If you're concerned, be assured I will clean them before I serve you any tea from them. The second: have my phone on and ANSWER it (almost) all the time. Enough said.

I was thankful to do something on January 1 that I've been meaning to do for some time - bake bread. My, it was fun. Trevor got me a massive cookbook for Christmas (thankfully, I was in a good mood when he gave it to me - I mean, it's kind of like in Father of the Bride when the groom gives the bride a blender, you know?). I do love this cookbook, thanks Trev. And he gave me beautiful earrings too, I just thought I should throw that in there.

I'm also reminiscing that last year for New Year's, we rented no less than 6 movies, and watched them all within 24 hours. While we didn't go to that extreme this year, we did squeeze in a viewing of "Marley & Me" (wonderful), and managed to hole up in our house for a couple of days (besides my traditional New Year's Day shift at Caribou). When we went to Panera for coffee with friends this morning, I felt blinded like a caveman exiting a comfortable hibernation - "People, sun, air! Oh, my eyes, my ears, the stimulation!"

And now we're off to, well, another Christmas party! We just can't get enough of "white elephant" gift exchanges, cookies, and appetizers. Why not extend the celebration as long as possible?

Truly, Happy New Year to all . . .

I've probably confessed this before . . . but I am one of those crazies who loves winter. I even love that I'm cold right now, because it's from the brisk few minutes of shoveling tonight, and it means I can wear one of Trevor's hooded sweatshirts and sit by the fire and the tree and smile. Which of course, I could do anyway (and I say that with great thanks and realization that I am beyond blessed), but it's just so much more satisfying after some quality time with crystalline fluffy snow. The adventure of winter amidst our modern conveniences astounds me anew every year - my thoughts were affirmed in a recent letter from a friend of "how did the pioneers survive these elements and why would they even choose to stay?" I suppose part of the answer is some of the same of why WE choose to stay: The beauty of seasons. The immobility that winter creates. The optimism that it really can't get much colder than this.

Trevor and I spent this blizzard-ish evening preparing together for work potlucks (again, I love the midwest - my alarm is set to start my crockpot in the pre-dawn hours), shoveling, writing, chatting with my brother.

And indeed, we're well into Advent, but wasn't Thanksgiving just last week? We were thrilled to travel back to NoDak for a week during that holiday, where we were able to take part in my grandma's birthday party, The Turkey Trot, many memorable meals, some mall-walks, game-playing, and old picture perusing.

This month has flown - we had the joy of having Trevor's brother stay with us one week, then the rest of the family came for the weekend. Last weekend held some Christmas parties, which entailed "white elephant" gift exchanges - Trevor was thrilled to receive a bright pink felt hat and action figure toys, I hit the jackpot with chocolate covered macadamia nuts and a question game.

As I write all this, I feel like our lives are very simple . . . and sometimes I think that's a good thing, while other times I wonder if we're too comfortable. I've been inspired lately by some people in our lives to remember to live a risky and adventurous life - we only have one to live! It's easy to get bogged down by the life's dailyness and forget about goals and dreams, the things that are bigger than us and take more than our own will and ways to accomplish. Of course, the beauty in this is that every one's "bigger than us" means something unique to each person, and we're never asked to compare our adventures or goals to anyone else's. There is much to be said for contentment too, of course.

And kind of along the same line, this year I've been thinking about Christmas Wishes - what is your's? I think such thoughts lend themselves to CHRISTmas prayers - the hopes, the dreams, the expectations and realizations - they're all gifts, and all given from The Giver. I pray this Christmas Wishes are bigger than us, more than what we can "do" on our own strength . . .

This week's Advent candle lighting, scripture, and prayer were about Joy - I pray that joy finds its way to anyone reading in a special way this season.

I seem to have some rules for blogging, which seems to be why I don't blog very often:

Rule #1: In order to sit down and write, everything has to be done. Everything includes but is not limited to . . . dinner served, dishes done, laundry folded, calls made, e-mails caught up on.

Rule #2: I have to be inspired (i.e. in the right mood).

Rule #3: I have to have especially interesting things to write.

Rule #4: I have to be relaxed and feel extreme peace and joy as I write.

Well, I think there are more . . . but in short, all of those rules are hardly ever met at one time, creating the perfect storm for blogging. Life gets busy. Tasks will never be completely finished. There will always be something about which to lack peace. So here's my self-reflective thought for the day: I take myself too seriously and live by WAY too many rules. I'm thankful for a conversation with my dad this evening that reminded me of the brevity of life, and the need to evaluate each day with a healthy perspective. And when I do that for even a minute, I realize that my tasks are trivial, my worries are small, and any pressure I feel is self-inflicted. I guess for some of us (i.e. ME), it's easy to live a fear-filled life - but lately I find myself with this deep craving for . . . more. As I wrote last month, the lyrics of "Dare You to Move" are still ringing deeply in my ears and heart - a friend even loaned a book to me the other day titled "I Dare You" - to LIVE. I was just looking at that same friend's pictures of her time in Ethiopia, and I felt awake and alive and remembered that there is SO MUCH to see, to do, to understand, to taste, to experience. Good reminders. A call to action. I don't know what form the action will take - yet. But I'm praying and watching.

A good start might be to start living by less rules.

Now that I think of it, one of my rules is to blog on a consistent basis - ha!

Another rule is that I need to cram them full and end them creatively.

Well, that rule is gone for this evening. Trevor just looked over my shoulder and said I'm writing "out of my usual voice." And my desire it to be authentic, and so this is what it is. I'm thankful, I'm blessed, and for once I'm not incredibly verbose! I'm warm, I'm hoping Trevor doesn't get too sick, I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving and going home for a full week.

And for my own sake, I have to record a couple priceless quotes from the last week. The first was from a dear retired woman who volunteered at my work's national conference. We were chatting and she ended up saying, in the sweetest voice, "My husband is a very nice man. Sometimes it's hard living with a very nice man." I'm laughing just thinking of it! Another was the other night when I was emphasizing that I've been getting macho movies that "the guys" in this house want to see, and putting aside my own wants (mostly jest-ful banter). Anyways, Trevor, meaning to call me selfless, instead said, "Andrea, you are sooooooooo heartless!" I will use that one for a long time. I love you, Trev - thanks for making me laugh and for being so just YOU that I know you would never say something like that meaningfully. You know what I mean.

And, I also want to say that I am very sad and very much thinking of and praying for my dear friend, K, right now and her family's loss. I'm so sorry, K, and I so admire your attitude of thanksgiving in what I can only imagine is one of the most difficult circumstances.

If the last time I wrote was an Ode to October, then this entry is an "O. D." of October. We just can't seem to get enough of all this month has to offer, and have packed all the possible festivities into the daily-ness of life. Just tonight Trevor and I took a brisk walk in the fall foliage and then went to Sam's Club to stock up on apple cider - you know, the really good and cloudy kind, 4 gallons worth to be exact. Last weekend we celebrated the season with dear friends over a variety of chili and spirits. Today I took a note to myself to keep an eye on the local pumpkin vendor, remembering that a year ago I caught him on the clearance closing day, getting a steal of a deal on corn husks and pumpkins and mums and squash. Now that I think of it, I find myself lately remembering a lot about "a year ago this time" - memories of painting with a dear friend who no longer lives here, going to NY for my work's national conference, being welcomed into the youth group ministry by a couple who have become kindred spirits and phenomenal friends. And I find myself looking forward to the traditions to soon follow, having my parents here for a visit, going home to Bismarck for Thanksgiving and the essential Turkey Trot.

As I write, my brother and hub are playing video games, and I'm enjoying the background hum of music and laughter that's sending me into a stream of thankfulness for the happenings of the past couple weeks. Something I want to remember always about this month is a concert we went to a couple weeks ago - we went with our youth group, friends, and brothers . . . the featured bands were Jars of Clay, Robert Robinson & The Family Band, Switchfoot, & Third Day. The evening was nothing short of a spiritual experience, and one that was precious to undergo with people we enjoy & love. I was especially inspired by the bands' example of using their fame and giftings for a Higher purpose, for God's glory. On top of that (well, there really is no top to that, but in addition) all the proceeds from this tour went to Habitat for Humanity.

Pretty sure I listened to Third Day's "Revelation" about 100 times the week after the concert. I forgot how powerful it can be to see live music, to feel the beat throughout your body, to sing with a crowd, to see the visuals behind the stage, the lights, the sensory impact. And really, I think just sitting in a place where all you can do is listen can be so powerful. The night brought Joy in the C.S. Lewis sense of the word - a glimpse of Heaven, a longing for so much more, a reminder that there IS more. Now that I think of it, one of Switchfoot's songs aptly states, "we were meant to live for so much more . . . we have more than this world has to offer . . . " So true, and I believe our heart's yearnings speak to that reality.

The rest of that weekend was also precious, as Trev's bro "T" was staying with us - we enjoyed fall's peak by sitting on the patio for a couple hours, driving to a nearby lake for a dinner at Noodles, and our brothers trying out a well-known church in the area. It's a gift to see our brothers be such close friends - and true brothers, if not by blood, then certainly by hearts. It's hard to believe that Trevor has known my brother since "D" was 12! And that I've known Trev's bro "T" since he was 10. Wow.


Also significant (in the most insignificant way) to the past few weeks has been a reminder of why Trevor and I felt we had to give up DVD's for a couple months last winter: The Office. Oh, it seems so harmless and funny, that is until we start talking about the characters like they actually live next door. Until we have almost nothing to talk about except Jim, Pam, Dwight, Michael - all the relationships, pranks, quotes. Probably the rock bottom was when we actually got "caught up" by watching 9 episodes on an absolutely beautiful Sunday. As if that weren't enough, we literally felt a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. Yeah, it's good that it's over. I'm a little embarrassed about this paragraph, but I highly value transparency. We did, however, make it to church that day, and I left feeling the possibility that life holds, and the gift that each day is. I felt a distinct longing to not live a "status quo" life, but to live adventurously and on purpose. To chase dreams that are insurmountable, to set goals in light of God's power, to not be afraid of failure.

I'd feel remiss to not allude to the crisis our country is facing in the economical sense - I find myself getting anxious about it all, but by the grace of God set before me in amazing and wise examples of faith-filled reactions, I'm reminded that every trial offers opportunity. Opportunity for us to show and receive grace, help, and perspective. Opportunity to show where our lives' foundation really lies. Opportunity to trust and to persevere. You good examples out there know who you are, I hope, and I thank you for being real and honest and gracious.

With that, I think I'll ode and O.D. on November, too, and looking forward to it all.

Well, not really an "Ode" - but I am so savoring this month already. I'm sitting in my bedroom, it's dreary outside, and the thermostat says it's 66 degrees in here (maybe that's why my fingers are cold, and how better to warm them than with some fresh decaf. mmmmm). Along with the smell of buttercup squash, the taste of chocolate covered macademia nuts, laundry in the dryer, slippers, and knowing that Trevor is similarly loving his day spent in fields of pheasant - well, as my bro would say, it's not a bad day.

So much not bad in fact, that I feel a little clouded in this state of comfort, and I need to try to articulate what I'm feeling, knowing that my thoughts are too embedded in my mind and heart to communicate fully. I think it started yesterday with a conversation about grace, spurred by the book "The Ragamuffin Gospel." In a word, I feel like this last week has been humbling in a lot of ways - I've realized anew how much I take for granted in everyday life, and at the same time I feel almost guilty for such a plethora of good "stuff" in my life. Anyways, all this was compounded by a good discussion at youth group this morning. The lesson began with a dialogue about the influence of generosity and ended with talks of the potential we all have to influence the world with our own acts of generosity. The morning was basically a firm reminder of how cared for we are in so many ways, and the responsibility that comes with such abundant provision. I will always remember something told to a missions team I was with in Guatemala - advice to not feel guilty about living in abundant provision, but to remember to use all blessings to bless others. It sounds trite, but I also fully realize that just by having our physical needs met doesn't mean we're necessarily more peaceful or content. As another tangent on this topic of influence, I recently listened to part of an interview of Gary Haugen (founder of International Justice Mission), and to hear of his efforts to end human trafikking is such an example of the power of one when looking to God for empowerment. So yeah, I sit here in complete comfort, and yet there is a discomfort in being this comfortable. And I believe that's a good thing, discomfort can lead to action and change.

These past few weeks have brought constant reminders of said blessings - I'm struck by how when I sit down to think of any remarkable events, what sticks out are the weekends. Probably not a remarkable reflection, but I don't want to only live for the weekends! But wonderful weekends they have been, including much anticipated "hunting trip" to Bismarck. For the record, it was teh 9th annual duck opener camping trip (I wasn't invited, but I heard it was great fun!). A special portion of this trip involved going through my "life in boxes" that were lovingly stored in my parents' basement. I felt joy to revisit memories through relics such as art projects, music boxes, dolls, journals, books, letters, certificates, and school papers. I'm always amazed at the meaning we so readily attach to material things, and I affirm the value in holding on to such sentimental objects. Bismarck is such a comforting place to be, and we are awed by all the love we come home to. Thanks to all who truly make Bismarck home!

Recent adventures in Mpls. have included the downtown farmer's market (huge and so character filled!), walks at Lone Lake park and Lake Calhoun, and vehicle misadventures and adventures. Of course, the pheasant hunting today is probably something to "write home about" but I guess I'll have to wait to hear from the guys on that one. Of course, just in case, there's chicken in the oven and apple cider in the fridge. Yes, fall is here. One question I have, is do people in warmer climates still drink hot apple cider and decorate with pumpkins? Our home is filled to overflowing with a variety of pumpkin manifestations from the "fall decorations" rubbermaid bin and such simple things make this season all the more enjoyable. Not a bad day.

So much to say . . . so much to read . . . so much to listen . . . so much to write . . . that's how I'm feeling right now, but in a contented and hopefully balanced way. Rain is pouring outside, and I am sitting alone, grinning to myself in gratitude for this weather (yes, I'm one of those who is inspired by dreary days). I'm also grinning thinking of all the good times of the past couple weeks. From a dear cousin getting engaged to my brother moving in with us to positive developments in work, refreshing weather, a 24 hour vacation with Trevor. Well, I guess I have a lot to smile about and I'm thankful.

We just got back this afternoon from a short trip to Taylors Falls/St. Croix Falls, where we zipped away for a short vaca. It was just how I pictured it would be, small town charm with a few charming interactions and many memories in even a brief visit. We got there last night in time to wander Taylors Falls small main street, and decided to eat at a family-type restaurant that felt deliciously dated - completely decorated in dark wood, small water glasses, and flimsy paper place mats printed with local advertisements. The establishment was called "Chisago House", not much from the outside looks of it, but the atmosphere threw me back to memories of meals with my grandparents on their ranch, and others at the "Homesteaders Restaurant" in Minot, ND. Our server was polite but not invasive, and we got to just enjoy the chatter surrounding us. Trevor commented that it felt like there was a lotta love in that place, and I'd have to agree. It was also the first time in what feels like years that we had to pay at the front of the restaurant instead of the server taking care of the check. I found that oddly refreshing. Next we walked up the street to the local coffee shop and has a nice chat with the barista/owner while he made our americanos. We finished the night with a couple Office episodes and woke up refreshed and ready for a hike. The St. Croix River valley is stunning with rock formations, flowing water, and thick forest. By the time we got back the sky was misting, which made our last walk down main street cozy as we stopped for donuts and then a malt-shop (where Pirates of the Caribbean was playing on a plasma screen - I think we got our 3 dollars' worth there, pretty sure we sat for a good half hour, Trevor had to see the "desert scene" with Johnny Depp. That movie creeps me out on so many levels). That all said, we look forward to going back, and - gasp - think we might even try camping there sometime. If I'm allowed a hiking story tangent, I have to say that I found out this morning that Trevor almost went to Cold Mountain while he was in North Carolina but didn't. WHY NOT?!?

Backing up for history's sake, last weekend is already one I'm playing back fondly in my memories . . . two good gal friends from college spent it here and I was blessed to get in some good girl time. From dinner at Noodles with friends, to a Twins game, to cramming our house with fabulous friends for conversation, dinner, and games, we had a blast catching up and running around. Thanks, you guys!

I feel compelled to disclose some random thoughts here. First, my brother (who now lives in our basement, which truly thrills me!) is right now in Florida, riding my fave rollercoaster. It is the Mt. Everest one at the Animal Kingdom, and its theme is the Yeti. Yes, that's right, the fictional monster that some call the abominable snowman. It's not that the ride is so fast, or filled with climbs and drops and twists and turns (although there is some of that) - it's just that the experience so stinking entertaining/unexpected. I say with sincerity that I hope my bro is having a blast, but wow what I wouldn't give to see a Yeti on this delightfully dreary day.

My second random expostulation is that I spent a short amount of time this afternoon looking for "youth group games" that we could use when the lesson is done with a few minutes to spare. You see, the kid-os LOVE this game called "Mafia" (I can't bear to even explain the rules and objective because I don't think I understand them). I feel like I cannot play that game one more week (probably because I'm bad at it!) so I'm determined to find a different one. Much to my dismay, in a couple searches, this "Mafia" is not only THERE, but it also has the HIGHEST ratings. Uff da, I give up. I'm now conceding that the game is actually a blast, and that I am simply not "with it". I'm okay with that. It's all about the games - I mean, Jesus! - anyways.

My deep thought for the day - and yes, there's only one today - was inspired by a scene in Pirates of the Caribbean. I was half-watching, half soaking in the surroundings of antique candy canisters, the soda shop bar where we were sitting, the waiters taking pizza orders, Trevor eating his black cherry soda float. The movie came to a scene where the ship is heading towards a great waterfall. Everyone panics and scrambles to save their lives, doing everything in their power to not go over the edge of the waterfall. The situation just made me think of how much we as humans are wired to value life higher than anything - we do anything we can to save the lives of ourselves or others. This is true in crisis and illness, and just in daily living. The thought is still developing, but it's especially interesting to me in light of Heaven and eternity being the ultimate reality, the place I'm excited to be one day . . . and yet there is still tremendous intrinsic value in THIS day, in MY life, in YOUR life. Life truly is precious, and I guess I was just reminded today to treat it as such with reverence and respect.

And one last and much lighter exclamation - if fall is one thing, it is . . . PUMPKINS. I just found a recipe for pumpkin tortilla soup (probably only sounds good to me, I know) and I am contemplating making pumpkin cookies. However, I can't seem to get over the last time I made them, almost four years ago, and they completely flopped. The experience was so disappointing that I don't know if I can risk repeating it. Just kidding. Kind of. But yeah, pumpkins, I am so ready to whip out the "fall decorations" Rubbermaid container. It's got to be here somewhere . . .

p.s. Dad, thanks for the page of quotes you sent - this is my favorite: "Writing is like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headights, but you can make the whole trip that way." -E.L. Doctorow

I'm sitting in our cool and comfortable computer room, thinking I should probably be outside . . . but I'll let Trevor cover that territory. He's heading off to play Ultimate Frisbee at a nearby park (his phone/appendage just reminded him to do so - proving that everything goes on that electronic calendar!). He sweetly asked me, "Are you sure you don't want to come along?" My reply was simply outright laughter.

I'm opting to stay home to write a bit and catch up on my fave podcast. Interestingly, the guest on the episode of Along the Way that I'm listening to right now is Daren Streblow, a Christian comedian who I saw many a year ago (well, maybe not that many, just 5) at the Medora Musical. Listening is bringing back many good memories of being in the burning hills of the Badlands, traipsing through Theodore Roosevelt National Park, descending the escalator of the outdoor amphitheater and soaking in the sounds of "cowboy" music and the smells of popcorn and hotdogs. My eyes are watering just thinking of the smoke from the pitchfork fondue - both from recalling the burning steaks and for the sentimental feelings the pictures in my mind invoke. You see, Trevor and I worked there for the whole summer, right before we got engaged. Looking back, I was consumed with inner conflict that summer, feeling a weight of indecision and some very real (although likely unfounded) fear about the future. Heading into my last year of college, having dated Trevor for many years, I felt that we were going to have to either get super serious (i.e. talk marriage) or move on in separate ways - and to be honest, both possibilities were frightening to me (to be clear, not because I doubted Trevor - I KNEW he would be more than I could ever ask for in a husband, I think the issue in my heart was doubting whether I could be a worthy wife for him).

That Medora summer was wonderful, though, and the turmoil I felt really rubbed rough grains of sand into precious pearls of lessons and experiences. To be in such a beautiful part of creation, out of my element, meeting people from around the country and world, making memories (with Trevor and other dear friends), sorting through thoughts and feelings and prayers. I think I left there peaceful and hopeful, having wrestled through thoughts in my head and heart - I'm now reminded of something I recently learned: that the Greek words for "wrestle" and "embrace" come from the same root. How appropriate that when we wrestle, we are also embraced by God's love and provision.

Wow, I can't believe I'm bearing all of this for the internet world to see, and I'm not sure why it all comes out right now - but I CAN say that looking back is a comforting reminder to me right now of God's faithfulness. That He has and is guiding every step, decision, and path. That He will continue to do so, and that He cares about the minute details and concerns of my heart.

One such concern this week has been the heart surgery my grandfather had this week, which led to his lungs filling with fluid and keeping him the hospital for a couple of days. Thankfully, he is doing well now. I've been thinking about him a lot this week, and all the things that remind me of him. Some of my best childhood memories come from time spent at both sets of my grandparents' farms in NW North Dakota, and Grandpa Bob is definitely a key member of those memories. I can instantly recall the smells, sounds, and pictures in my mind of him - coming from the field into the house for coffee & peanut butter cookie breaks, dressed in striped denim overalls, dunking the cookies in his coffee. The "CB" (I think that's what it was) radio by which he would call grandma from the tractor. The clinking of tools, the sounds of country music, and the gasoline smells of his quan-set garage, where he would welcome us with gingersnaps served out of a coffee canister. "His" living room chair, covered with a towel to catch all the grease from machinery, where he'd settle in after a hard day's work. More recent memories of their "city life" include him reading jokes from internet forwards, squinting at the computer in his office that is surrounded by miniature tractors and farm toys. His grateful attitude for the full life he's lived, all that he's experienced, the provision that God has granted him and my grandma. I miss all my grandparents (maybe this feeds the fascination and fanaticism for the Young @ Heart movie). Anyways, I'm thankful for restored health, and looking forward to seeing him in a couple weeks.

In the same vein (not to be punny),Trevor's grandfather had a similar procedure on Monday - and we are thankful for his restored health as well. I'm actually amazed at both grandfather's resiliency, determination, and optimism in the face of health issues. I am blessed to watch them both react with faith and trust, they set an example to me of how to best handle the ups and downs of life - it's humbling to see the way they live.

I'm also waxing sentimental for college days - my best friend was in town this week and stayed with me one evening and the next morning. Wow, the memories that flood back by just being with her - talking about favorite professors, dorm room talks, & crazy characters. Those years in Jamestown were so full and sometimes feel like a world away. Life is so full of seasons, isn't it? The variety that each one brings is so unique, and some are more comfortable and/or beautiful than others. R & I had a relaxing time spreading out a big blanket by Lone Lake, soaking in creation, catching up, and being comfortable with silence. Speaking of reacting to health challenges with grace, I was most uplifted by her own example - pained with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, back issues, & knee pain, she is filled with gracious acceptance (coupled with honest wrestling and embracing of God through all of these set-backs) and pro-active measures to help heal her body. In essence, this week I've been reminded by beautiful people facing difficult situations that I take so much for granted.

This Friday brought a restful roam when my Bible study group of gals retreated to a farm south of the cities. All I can say is that I felt like I was in a "Country Woman" magazine feature (it's my new goal to get this place in that magazine!). A family from our church has turned their property into a retreat center that is used by all sorts of groups - they restored the farm's barn, which now serves as the main gathering space. Check it out at http://www.pasturebarn.com We spent the evening snacking, preparing dinner & dining outside, and walking to a nearby lake for the sunset. I felt like I was walking in a painting, it was deliciously surreal, and the beauty left me marveling in God's creation designed so intricately for our delight.

This week has left me craving a trip to Brainerd, MN! We were there three times last summer, and I feel this gap at not having a reason to go there this month. Well, I can think of one almost-justifiable reason to go there - ZORBAZ Pizza. Hmmmm, if we left now we could be there almost by supper-time . . . although that would mean pulling Trevor away from Ultimate Frisbee, so I guess maybe we'll be staying put tonight.

Coldplay is streaming through our speakers, and thoughts are streaming through my mind with questions such as: How did they pick the name Coldplay? Why do weekends go so fast? Why does my smaller and sicklier tomato plant bear faster fruit than the bigger more lively one? Might there ever exist a TV system by which we can choose on demand what Olympic events we'd like to watch LIVE (or is that a function of TiVO?!? Or even the Internet?)?

Speaking of, I've yet to watch the Opening Ceremonies, but I did hear it was stunning with something like 15,000 performers and a budget of over 300 million dollars. As an "Elizabethtown" quote goes, "That's a lot of million." The Olympics are such an insight into corners of the world we might not otherwise explore, and I appreciate the way the broadcasting networks take time to provide contextual cues for not only the events, but for the culture that is hosting them.

It seems like everyone is moving lately, in an array of positive and even adventurous ways. In two weeks, Trevor and I have helped three different people move (well, technically, one of those was just distracting a friend who should have been packing but instead was sitting around chatting with me). Anyways, my ruminations on moving are: 1) It is always laborious to move, no matter how little or much you have. 2) It is easier and more fun to move other people's stuff than to move your own. 3) When said friends are moving to fun places such as L.A. or Madison, that means there is increased reason to travel.

In traveling news, we had the joy of welcoming my cousin and her friend on their way back from Guatemala early last week. The experiences they had there learning Spanish, serving, and touring couldn't have been better. To catch them fresh off the plane and capture them in our house for a bit was exhilarating.

In entertainment news: I know everyone reading this is anxious to know . . . that the movie Young @ Heart comes out on DVD September 16. I wish I could take you to our cheap theater for a viewing, but I guess you'll just have to wait another month *Sigh* I myself am counting the days because of the list of special features and interviews that look amazing. Yes, we went to see the film again on Friday night, and I all but forcibly dragged the guys in the group into the theater (they stood in the hallway until the last minute with devious looks on their face, obviously thinking "We could sneak into Iron Man or the Incredible Hulk - it's not too late!" Well, I don't know that they would admit it, but I think they liked Young @ Heart and I firmly believe that a movie such as this is enhanced by experiencing it together with others (hence I feel justified in forceful persuasion).

Ironically, seeing that movie at the end of the week was a jolting juxtaposition compared to the week's other evenings . . . those I spent at our church, serving snacks at "Kids Games" (similar to Vacation Bible School). All I can say is that I think I needed Kids Games more than the kids did - to see their joy and energy, to be in the kitchen chatting with friends, to hear the scriptures, to experience everyone working together to make the evenings run smoothly - all these things make me marvel again at community in action. Today we celebrated with an all-church potluck, and I could almost feel the "olden days" as my imagination put the scene into a prairie with picnic baskets, horses & buggies, bonnets, and berry-picking. That said, the burgers, brats, and picnic tables suited us just fine and the act of gathering fed our hearts just as much as our stomachs. Oh, and one of the best parts of the potluck that really did feel like one of days gone by . . . a dear friend brought me cucumbers fresh from her garden. There is the slightest and most delectable hint of dill, and I could not be more delighted (doesn't take much!).

And now I'll leave with a quote/thought today that has challenged me. It was relayed on my fave of radio shows, the host was talking about a seminar she once attended where the instructor posed this question: "Finish this sentence as many times as is necessary: 'I wish I would have . . . . ' " That's life, isn't it? It takes intentionality every day to squeeze the most out of the hours and live it to the fullest. This one is going to take some thought, the day to day wish I woulda's include: . . . went to bed earlier last night . . . remembered to call that person . . . hadn't said such and such. The bigger, more life goal ones can be scarier to utter, and in many ways I feel like I'm on the edge of making the wish I woulda's realities - it's exciting, really, trusting that God has good things in mind, and that living a life without regret means taking risks. I don't want to live a "safe" life, I want to live one that trusts and reaches and leaps. Lord help me to do that to Your honor and with Your direction and Your motives. Amen.

August 3rd - for real?!? That means fall is around the corner, and that means my heart is glad. These humid days of summer are all right, but I can just envision sipping hot tea in our backyard under the shade of red and yellow leaves, watching my breath mix with the steam rising from the cups.

As I write, my 4 year wedding anniversary is almost over. Almost. It might just be that by the time I sign off here, it will be official (yes, I can see Trevor writing the card out). Thanks Trev, truly, it was a good long celebration.

Speaking of weddings and marriage, my fave radio show hosted a conversation last week about traditional gender roles in marriage that I found quite fascinating. It's a topic I come back to often in my mind, as I am continually surprised at how "traditional" I am in the stereotypical roles assigned to women. Anyways, the radio host was talking about an e-mail forward she received, intended to be funny. The forward was a list from a 1950's "Home Economics" book, listing advice for women about to become wives . . . including such tips as:

- Freshen up before your husband comes home
- Have dinner ready when he walks in the door
- Have your children clean, toys picked up, no appliances running (I thought that one was funny)

You get the idea. The show's host's opinion is that the list really isn't that funny, and wouldn't most men appreciate such things? Interestingly, when she invited callers, mostly women and almost zero men dialed in to give their response. The conversations were intriguing, and the next day there was offered a similar list for husbands-to-be. What I found ironic is that both lists were written by women. Hmmmm. Relationships and roles within them are complicated, but I think that's such the beauty of them. So yeah, no conclusions, just ramblings. I feel like every couple is different, and the discussions about division of labor hopefully serve to suit each person's best interests and inclinations (hence, I do NOT mow the lawn. Trevor does NOT cook. Agreed upon fair trade).

Trevor and I enjoyed a couple MN specific entertainment excursions this week, including a Twins game one evening and another visiting friends on a houseboat bed and breakfast afloat the Mississippi - The Covington Inn is a charming place with four bedrooms and plenty of deck spece. Open year round, we thought it might be worth another visit in the winter. One of the most refreshing parts of the week, though, was our Friday evening spent at the cheap theater. We saw the documentary Young at Heart - the film follows a popular geriatric choir through rehearsals for a tour of their latest program. The story is real, raw, and beautiful, filled with relationships & reflection. We watched the choir members (and their director) struggle to learn new songs (hilarious), express their joy in having found purpose in their choir community, wrestle with illness and make peace with their faith as they faced a future with sometimes failing bodies. I left the theater with gratitude for the day and determination to make the most of each one gifted to me. Please see the movie and we can talk about it - or join us again this coming Friday, we're thinking about an encore (yes, this is the new "Dan" in my life).

This weekend was varied also in that we had some unexpected guests - a few of Trev's good buds from high school stayed with us, and he had fun hosting and hanging out with them. I enjoyed watching them pick up where they left off with laughter . . . and their old tendencies of not wanting to hang out with girls. HA! I indulged in a viewing of The Devil Wears Prada, and also partook in one of the midwest's greatest traditions this afternoon - the potluck! The luck, I think, was good - lots of varied dishes with plenty to spare. Do people the world around have such gatherings, and if so I wonder what their main-stay dishes are? I have found that I am a big believer in midwestern traditional, albeit made-fun-of, foods for such events: hotdish. sloppy joes. jello. rhubarb. pop. I feel a cookbook coming on . . .

Trevor and I are spending this evening with old friends . . . named Michael Scott, Dwight Shrute, Pam Beasley, Jim Halpert. You know, the usual crew. It's good to be back with them, it's been awhile. Yeah, the past couple weeks have been blessedly full, and tonight I think this is about all our brains could handle. In part, I felt strongly that I needed a dose of Steve Carrell, it couldn't be helped. How can one man be SO funny? And I just get this feeling that he's genuinely nice and of strong character. I do. And, he reminds me of my brother in so many good ways (and, for the record, NOT in any of the akward and inappropriate ones!), so I always feel a bit of home-sweet-home is right here in my living room on nights like these.

A few weeks ago Trevor had his 27th b-day (happy birthday, man!). When I asked him what he wanted to do on his birthday, he said, "I want to just take the day as it comes and not make a plan." Ha! I often forget how different we are - I mean, doesn't everyone like to have every second of their day planned out? We did celebrate the day before by having a big bbq in our backyard - big hole of dirt and all (due to shin-DIG and still pending patio), people didn't seem to mind spreading out and traipsing around while grazing on grilled goods. The evening was a culmination of celebration - two birthdays, a couple going-aways, a graduation, a wedding anniversary. It's good to celebrate all the milestones that so many seasons of life bring - isn't it interesting how intrinsic it is to rejoice in one another's accomplishments and commemorate various stages in life?

And so the birthday of no planning folded out spontaneously, and I think the b-day boy was very content with the events (and non-events, like a Home Depot run & leftovers for lunch). To top it off, we went to Blockbuster (after picking up Chipotle), where he picked out a movie. It of course has subtitles, so I found plenty of other things computer and reading related to occupy my time while sitting in the same room. I love you, Trevor, happy birthday.

On that note, have I mentioned that it's STILL our anniversary? Quite a drawn out celebration.

The next weekend was filled with fun, as my parents and brothers came to spend a few days with us. The time was divided between work and play (for the men, anyways - we gals pretty much just played). The guys finished our backyard patio, and we are so thankful! We celebrated on Sunday with a pizza party outside, and were joined by my cousin and her friend who were on their way to Guatemala the following morning. We also celebrated Trev's b-day on Saturday night at a lovely authentic Greek restaurant called Santorini's. I truly appreciate that about my fam - always celebrating life and enjoying every day, making memories and soaking in the time together. Thanks to you all! Another hi-lite was that my mom and I attended a Beth Moore conference - those hours of refreshment were very needed to me, and her teaching was phenomenal. Many of the phrases she said keep coming back to my heart, as she was addressing what to do when we find ourselves "In between a rock and a hard place." Everyone goes through such times to varying degrees - probably MANY times in their lives - and it's just a good reminder to know that we are NEVER alone and that God is always faithful and all-knowing to our circumstances and feelings.

This week went by in a blur, so much so that I think I forgot most of those moments that made me think, "Oh, I have to write about that!" in trying to capture thoughts and feelings as much as events. The events, though, have been wonderful - between hosting training events at work, to having another small cookout, to enjoying an evening at a benefit for the God's Child Project (which badly made me want to return to Guatemala!), to helping a friend move, to another friend's bridal shower, to a Guitar Hero party (another mohawk event for Trevor) . . . the days have been memorable and we are thankful for health and home and countless other blessings.

In movie news and continuing from the last post - we did see WALL-E and the hours spent watching robots fall in love were very endearing. Not to mention the thought-provoking themes about current social issues. I just started a book given to me by friends - it's written by a Christian film critic and explores many of the ways and the whys of how movies pull us in, grab our hearts, and sometimes even change our lives. So far, I'm loving the new reasons he's giving me to feed the need for movie watching. Thanks, B & N! I'm finding ways to apply the writer's thoughts to The Office, of course.

As I write, I'm trying to still myself enough to bring cohesiveness to my thoughts on the experiences of the last couple of weeks. The memories are taking shape beautifully, but to bring words to describe the significance of the experiences seems to be intimidating - I'm reminded of how we as humans so badly need to communicate and so long to be understood on deep levels, to know that our days matter and to bring meaning to even the most mundane of happenings. I'm also reminded that it takes time of rest and reflection so that the meaning can be applied; it seems that the temptation is always tantalizing to go from one thing to the next in an effort to feel "productive" and "busy" and "purposeful". And yet, is that what God would have for us? I am challenged lately to remember that our worth is not in what we do, but in just BEING (the concept of which I was recently reminded by a dear friend in an "overview e-mail" about our time with the youth group in Chicago. More later, but thanks, N!). At this point, I feel the need to disclaim again that I might go into rambling detail, because this serves as my journal and as something I hope to look back on in years to come to remember events and the thoughts surrounding them.

Every day does bring opportunities for learning, and I think an appropriate layout for this post will be "What I Learned" . . .

What I learned en route to Chicago with our Youth Group . . .

- Life can be unpredictable: one of the girls who was supposed to travel with us had to stay back, due to her dad's sudden diagnosis of a brain tumor. It was a blessing to see the other kids respond with such compassion and concern for the family.
- Teenagers are fun: The ride to IL flew by with tunes, chatter, and some quick stops along the way - we are blessed to be surrounded by such stellar youth.
- Church support is amazing: due to a "Take Stock in our Youth" fund raiser (again, brilliant N's idea!), the lion's share of costs were paid by church "shareholders". What a beautiful display of community support!

What I learned IN Chicago . . .

- It's all about community: Part of our mission was to build community and see the larger body of which we are a part. We were thankful to get to know the congregants and youth group of Church of the Resurrection . . . the church that actually 'planted' our's in Mpls. Everyone was welcoming and appreciative, their open arms lent the feeling that we were there for weeks instead of just days.
- It's also all about BEING (again, I'm borrowing from N's eloquent summary): As we arrived for our first service project at the Vacation Bible School program at "Rez", we kind of felt like extra hands, like our help wasn't absolutely NEEDED. Again, it is so human nature to want to be needed, to be essential, to be productive and literally see the fruits of our labor (and part of our group DID see their results, as they chopped and cooked all sorts of things for a community meal of 300 people). Anyways, we remembered that many times we are called to observe and learn and BE as much as we are called to DO.
- Kids just need someone to play with: We all spent Friday morning and afternoon with the Marcy-Newberry organization at "Marcy Center", one of their "inner city" centers working with kids in a Head-Start program. I admit that I felt very overwhelmed when we first got there - Mr. Love, the director, gave us a tour of the center and the chaos was palpable . . . not to mention, there didn't seem to be any directed and concrete way for us to help out (again, this innate need for a TASK, so we can see a RESULT). Oh, and I should also mention my insecurity at being the only white people on the premises - not insecure safety wise, but more so wondering what they think of us traipsing into their turf for our "do-gooding" mission - I guess that's another topic altogether. Anyways, Mr. Love turned us loose to go play with kids (and consequently, help out the teaching staff which was very short-handed that day). The hours were full of playing, and those precious kids captured all of our hearts. It was remarkable how quickly bonds can form over a span of only several hours.
- When you give youth the chance for leadership, you can learn a lot from them: The two eldest of our youth group led us in devotions each morning, and set the tone for the days that lay ahead. The first morning was especially powerful as they talked about the importance of having a good attitude, and their reflections stayed with me throughout what ended up being a long and tiring day.
- Serving an elaborate meal to 300 people takes a lot of work: . . . and we weren't even there for the half of it. To celebrate the end of VBS, "Rez" throws a huge community dinner for all the kids and their families. And I'm not talking just hot dogs - their entire week of VBS was themed around the 12 tribes of Judah and was very authentic with Biblical costumes and crafts and customs. So, the meal followed suit and was also Biblically themed and beyond beautiful. The centerpieces were pistachios, almonds, dried fruits, grapes, and plums. There was a Mediterranean type chicken dish, a barley dish with raisins and onions, pita bread with hummus, olives, salad with homemade vinaigrette, and honey cake for dessert. I was amazed by everyone's coordination and above-and-beyond example of service. We were all glad to be able to help with some of the preparation and then serving the food to everyone - but really, I think we were the ones being served as we watched community in action with the music, dancing, and celebration.
- Teenagers can be surprising in the ways they show deep and genuine compassion: I was struck when one of our girls gave a leftover half of her sandwich to a homeless man on the street. I will always remember that, and how I felt humbled in the way I so easily walk by such sadness that is right in front of me.
- Tourists (i.e. WE) will pay money to eat normal food and be insulted by the wait staff: After a fun day of gallavanting around Chicago (including visiting the "bean", Millennium Park, Grant Park, Taste of Chicago, and Lake Michigan) we dined at Ed Debevic's, a fun diner where patrons are harassed by the staff. How that idea sells, I'm not sure, but I think it has something to do with teenagers who like to be able to talk back to, well, anyone, and at this particular restaurant such sassy behavior is encouraged. It was truly fun, and especially good to see the "kids" having a raucous good time. Also special about dinner was that dear friends of our's from college who just moved to Chicago met us there. Community!

What I learned this week from the aforementioned dad with the brain tumor . . .

- Trials often reveal character: We went to a prayer service at this family's home, and it was electric with fervent faith and total trust in God. I am inspired & humbled to witness examples of others' reactions to pain and adversity.

What I learned at the National Trainer Retreat this week for my work . . .

- It takes a special kind of person to be a national trainer: We have about 17 of them, and they are each amazing and unique in their own right - and they all converged from their respective parts of the country this week in Farmington, MN. I was energized and inspired watching them build relationships in re-connecting with each other, brainstorming for ideas to reach broader audiences, and passionately talking about their work to promote their work in the education and community sectors.

What I learned on our 36 hour vacation to the "North Shore" this 4th of July weekend . . .

- When we attempt to pack quickly, we forget a lot of things: Such as, my make-up bag, or say, driving the car that has the sticker that allows us to get into all the state parks (that expires this month . . . half the reason we decided to take the trip in the first place). We had some laughs over that one.
- It's a small world after all: Our first scenic stop was at Canal Park in Duluth. We meandered through a few shops, listened to some live music, and ended up chatting with a lovely couple who hail originally from North Dakota and now live in Brainerd. They were a hoot, just enjoying the day from a park bench, telling us of all the things we MUST see while in Duluth. They also cracked me up when they raved so highly of Minnesota, exclaiming, "We tell people everything you need to see is in Minnesota - you don't have to ever leave the state, it's all right here!" Um, I have to disagree, but their enthusiastic conviction was entertaining.
- There's a reason I haven't mini-golfed in YEARS: I'm terrible at it.
- Marriage can be an exercise in compromise: We stumbled upon a couple of state parks, Gooseberry Falls & Split Rock Lighthouse. We had a wonderful time hiking, especially after realizing that our styles of exploring are polar opposite. Trevor wants to climb, wade in the water, ford the river . . . I want to stick to the path and cover as much ground to see as much as possible. So yes, we compromised, and Trevor did indeed cross the river via boulders while I zipped across the bridge to meet him on the other side.
- Don't order the most expensive item on the menu at a road side diner (this one is from Trev): If you're at a burger & fries kind of joint, don't order the steak. 'Nuff said. BUT, our experience at Betty's Pies roadside restaurant is a wonderful memory - we were seated at a lone round table by a screen window, and I felt as if we were settling in at grandma's house. I'd go back just for the restful experience & friendly service.
- We are hard to impress when it comes to fireworks: As we sat in our car by a bar in Two Harbors (priceless experience in its own right!), Trev and I reminisced about our past 4th of July experiences, and think that as far as fireworks experiences we have already peaked - two years ago, we sat on top of the Federal Reserve building in D.C. with friends, my parents, and my cousins, watching the display for the National Mall. Great memory! That said, Two Harbors did a nice job, and will also serve as a good memory.
- Trevor and I are speedy vacationers and find it hard to relax: Next time, we will up the anty to 48 hours away so that we can relax a bit, too. This trip we were both eager to get back to housework and errands, is that weird?

What I learned from reading the beautiful book, Left to Tell . . .

- It is easy for me to ignore horrific events around the world: The book is written by a survivor of the Rwandan genocide in the mid-90's, and her reflections are painful to read yet painted with the vibrant colors of faith and forgiveness. I was struck by how complicated the world is, and how poisonous evil can be. It frightens me to think of the potential we have for doing harm, and how harm can similarly be done by doing nothing and ignoring the pain surrounding us.

And now, I'm going to go learn from the movie medium . . . I've heard that WALL-E is a great study in communication (and just a generally great flick), so off I go . . . that is, IF I can rouse my napping hubby to accompany me! As my brothers would say as they sat watching sunsets in Peru, "Not a bad day".

This week I've been thinking over and over in my head, "Life is beautiful." But for some reason, the phrase sounds bland in English. So, I decided I need to learn how to say it in French. I was actually with friends this weekend who were able to teach me (and also happened to have a lovely cross stitch art piece of the phrase on their wall) . . . and I already forgot. But, life is still beautiful, and in some ways the thought is more of a feeling, which transcends language. Life is not perfect, but this week I feel especially thankful for a blur of fun in the context of building community.

Nature was at its finest here this week, and brought with it a couple back-yard bbq's, savoring a free Celtic concert at a nearby lake, and stumbling upon nature in the making (literally). On a walk last weekend I saw a turtle laying eggs . . . and later that night accidentally stuck my fingers into a dead bird in our grass. Eeewwwww, I know, but true. We also took in an arts and car show last weekend along with some friends - our wonderfully aimless meanderings reminded me of going to similar festivals while growing up, white tents filled with arts and crafts, mini donut and corn-dog stands, free music, & creative inspiration.

Facebook came through this week in the most massive way ever, putting me in touch with my friend/roommate from freshman year in college. She and her husband now live close by, and they (along with their adorable puppies) joined us here for dinner on Friday. It was amazing to catch up on events of the last four years, and it's thrilling to have them living in the area. What made that day even more memorable was seeing another college classmate at Caribou while working in the morning. CRAZY. Even more crazy was that my former roommate and I, after not seeing each other for over four years, were dressed almost identically. DOUBLE CRAZY. Maybe not as crazy but still quite crazy was looking through her pictures of her time at Optometry school in Oregon and realizing that she graduated with Trev's former college roommate's sister. AND through the same school, they met Trev's former next door neighbor and her husband. TRIPLE CRAZY. I love it.

This weekend we tried our hand at a different kind of party. It started at 8am on a Saturday morning, and we called it a "Shin - DIG." The festivities involved inviting willing participants to our home for a day of digging a hole in our backyard as the first stage of installing a brick patio. Would you believe that people actually CAME to such a party? We were delightfully shocked and thankful.

Keep in mind that the literal translation of "shindig" is as follows: any sort of clever party, covered dish gathering, box social, (archaic) a brawl. Well, I think we qualified our shin-DIG in at least a couple categories (thankfully no brawls ensued, although with all those shovels and dirt it might have been tempting). Kidding aside, we were (and are continually) truly humbled that people would give their time and energy to help us. The day was a true display of community in action. Another hi-lite of the day was getting to spend the evening at a gathering of friends in St. Paul, hanging out in their back yard, consuming kabobs and tossing out questions such as "If you could live for 500 years or be immortal, what would you choose?"

In movie & book & entertainment review news, Trev and I recently saw a movie that is now on our "favorites" list: ONCE. The soundtrack is ringing in my ears constantly. I also finished the short but fascinating book How Starbucks Saved My Life (and am planning on retiring on profits made from my reflections on "How Caribou Helped me Cope" or something like that . . . title is in the revision process). This week I also saw RENT for the first time, and can see why it has such a following of fans - the experience for me was heightened by going with a co-worker who is passionate about theater and had seen it four times before.

I decided that Trevor and I will keep celebrating our anniversary until he gets me a card, so the party continued this week as we "Got Smart" watching Steve Carrell & Anne Hathaway act out their rendition of the show I watched on Nick at Nite growing up. The atmosphere was charged with what seemed like a school's-out-for-summer crowd - but Trevor managed to out-laugh them all (you do me proud, Trev!). And now we're throwing together last minute details in preparation for joining our church's youth group on a service project in Chicago . . . we're excited to see what God has in store for us all, and thankful for the chance to hit the ro-ad in just a couple days.

So, here's a question for the day (posed to me by a co-worker this afternoon): Would you quit your job for $1,000 (no questions asked and assuming the economy is steady so that finding another job would be relatively easy)? My answer is "no." How about you?

I'm writing from our basement this evening, escaping the oven that our upstairs has become in these gorgeous first days of summer. Today was wonderfully memorable, in so many ways that I have to recount a few of them.

First, it's my and Trevor's 4th wedding anniversary today - it's hard to believe, and the memories from that day in 2004 will be always vibrant and treasured. I have to brag on my hubby a bit . . . he's more amazing than I ever imagined he could be, and I've been blessed every single day on this road of marriage we've traveled together. I am continually amazed by God's design for marriage, and am thankful for what an insight into one's own character it can be, the way that temperaments can balance one another, the sharpening of (trying) to give over selfishness and seeking the best for another on a daily basis.

We're taking some time out this evening in front of "Anne of Green Gables, the Sequel" and I'm reminded of what an important part these "Anne of GG" movies and the books they're based on played in my heart during the year of our engagement - I read them for the first time then and found so many of the quotes relevant to my own life. I love Anne! She is a writer, she's fiesty, she loves her family & friends, she says things she doesn't mean, she is full of passion & ambition & indecision. Yes, she is a kindred spirit indeed.

Today is indeed a day of celebration for us - we were blessed to welcome our brothers back from their month-long gallavantings throughout Peru. They had a long enough layover in our town for us to pick them up and bring them here for lunch and "storytime" from their travels. They are amazing young men, and it's evident that they soaked in every minute of their time abroad - from a journey into the jungle of the Amazon, to an excursion to Machu Picchu, to a few relaxing days on the beach, they did it right. I must say, it is a relief to have them back home. Did I mention that I'm wearing earrings made from delicate Anaconda bones? And the proud owner of a Peru coffee mug? (thanks, guys)

To top off the day, we received three hilarious cards in the mail, and even some salt water taffy from friends who recently traveled to Medora, ND. Insert contented sigh.

As I sign off, Gilbert is proposing to Anne - why can't she just say "yes" right away?

The May flowers are all a-bloom (although not in our yard, we've yet to plant anything!) and wow were they worth the wait. I especially am loving our neighbors' tulips and fuschias, and patiently waiting for the hydrangeas to bloom. I love how everything just pops and overnight the green takes over and makes summer seem a reality.

I must return to commenting on the weather, because it's been crazy lately. We were in North Dakota last weekend, and got a taste of the wild winds they've been experiencing lately (apparently we didn't even see the half of it). We watched a storm develop over the Missouri River, and then later watched on the news the damage of a tornado here in Minnesota. As always, when such tragedies hit close to home (literally) it becomes so much more tangible. So yeah, the weather. Nature is not gentle, and reminds me of how little control we have over anything, especially huge forces that can literally change our lives.

I'm lacking inspiration for transitional topics, so I'm going to settle for being random and choppy in my writing tonight. We had a most fabulous time with our families in North Dakota last weekend, and tonight seems the first that we've really sat down since getting back to MN. The time was so good that I really wish we could rewind right now and do it all over again - I'm so thankful to know that feeling of just so badly wanting to recreate moments, I don't take those special times for granted, and really savor the memories. A momentous moment of our time was celebrating my cousin April's graduation - she graduated from the high school Trev and I attended, so the festivities brought back a slew of memories from almost 10 years ago. Can that be possible?

We were also spoiled to no end with affirmation, family time, easy laughter, and magnificent meals - not to mention another viewing of The Office season finale with my parents!

To add to the randomness of this post, I must mention that Trevor just put in a VHS video of The Chronicles of Narnia, and he is unreasonably excited. Not only is it a VHS, but it's an OLD VHS and the quality is unbelievable. So much so, that all I could say for the first few minutes was, "Are you SERIOUS?!?" For whatever reason, Trevor found that quite humorous and asked me to repeat the phrase several times. Needless to say, he's enjoying this flashback to his childhood. I can appreciate that, but I'll admit that I'd rather be watching Dan in Real Life.

Speaking of movies, I must comment on this weekends viewings - I took off work early yesterday to join some coworkers at a much anticipated chick flick based on a tv series of critical acclaim. I have to say that it was quite an experience: at noontime the theater's parking lot was flooded with females who were all flocking to the box office and joining friends inside. And I have to say, I really enjoyed the movie for its focus on confession, confrontation, forgiveness, and friendship. The experience was worth it alone for the bonding with my co-workers, but really the film left me with lots of food for thought for this weekend. The other feature film for Trevor and I this weekend was Horton Hears a Who - to be a critic, I found it a little boring, but of course loved that Steve Carrell was the voice for "the Mayor of Whoville". =)

This week was a blur with what feels like an abundance of fun meals: we hosted two potlucks here (I LOVE a good potluck!), joined friends for dinner in their home (read: we got spoiled with homemade bread and pie!), and I partook in a picnic with lotsa gals around a lake this afternoon. Life is good, for sure.

And now, the thunder is roaring and I am winding down in mind and body and can't seem to muster up any thoughts - let alone deep ones. And so, I hope all reading this are well and also able to wind down sometime this weekend!

So, the great thing about going to movies in the theater is that you actually have to pay attention and watch them - I get so much more out of them that way (please hear the sarcasm, all at my own expense and attesting to my shamefully short attention span and compulsion to multi-task). Trevor and I just walked in the door from seeing the latest film production of the Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian. I wish I could poignantly sum up why my heart is so full right now, but I'm afraid I'll leave that to your own reading and experiencing C.S. Lewis (please read the series, please! I read the classic books only a couple of years ago, and I'm afraid I may have to stay up late tonight to start them again). I was comforted, challenged, and overjoyed on so many levels - first, watching such a fantasy adventure is a keen insight into my husband. I forget how much he is energized by such stories, and it was fun to sit beside him and have him whispering things to me (such as, "that character is the 'angry elf' from Elf the movie!" to which I argued, "no way" . . . he was right. I mean, he IS right. He is always right). I drew comfort and courage from Lucy's dialog with Aslan - how she feels alone and can't understand why others can't see Him and fears that she's not brave enough. *heavy sigh* He is kind and consoles her and she falls into his soft fur; but as C.S. Lewis states, "He is a good lion, but not a gentle lion."

As I write, our brothers are likely heading out of the Amazon, and our friends Andy & Beth are soon arriving in Peru - I pray that their paths somehow intersect!

The other significant event of today is this amazing new friend I made. This one friend has made me feel like I have a plethora of friends - throughout the day, I've been checking my email and updating Trevor on my "new friends" . . . yes, I signed up for that enigmatic internet social network called "Facebook." So far I'm lovin' it, but definitely needing to process its many elements. I can see why it's so popular, that much is certain.

I went to a women's retreat this weekend, the focus of which was rest. Among the things I think I learned is that I'm relatively rested (what with no kids and not an incredible amount of outside stress - other than the pressure I place on myself for "perfection"). And with that, I'm feeling the need for rest in the form of sleep. . . . I plan on falling asleep with images of falling into God's arms, much the way Lucy fell so willingly and joyfully into Aslan's.

I would like to start this post with a statistic on which I've been ruminating the past few days: "Having a husband creates an extra seven hours a week of housework for women . . . A wife saves men from about an hour of housework a week" (Source: U of Michigan, recorded in Reader's Digest). So, first of all, when I read this I yelped inside - "YES! That is soooooooo true" (well, not so internally. I was quite quick to exclaim the stat to my dear husband - who laughed and probably said something in retort that I proceeded to block out due to my state of epiphany). Second of all, I wondered WHY is this stat so true? Third in my thought sequence was WHO decided to study that subject (and are they making a living off of it? If so, I have plenty of things I could think of to study and then have published in Reader's Digest). Not to mention, HOW did they measure those variables?

Well, I've had a couple days to let the stat marinate in my mind, and now it just makes me laugh because I have to admit to myself that I would much rather have the extra housework and have my dear hubby around than to have more time yet not have him here. Cheesy, I know, but 100% true and scientifically proven.

The past couple weeks have been a beautiful blur, swirling with family visitors, drives around the city, and marvelous meals. Trev's parents were here two weekends ago, and mine (along with my grandparents) were here just a few days ago. Those times are so precious, and the memories are thankfully etched in our minds and hearts.

This week is significant in that: 1) Today two of our brothers (mine and one of Trev's) left for Peru, where they will travel from adventure to adventure for a month! I am thankful to have seen them at the airport this morning, and pray safety and traveling mercies on their time in South America. It's hard to believe, they're still in the air and will touch down in Lima about an hour after the time I finish writing. I so admire their sense of spontaneity and seizing the opportunity to explore another country and culture. 2) My best friend from college is leaving tomorrow for South Africa, where she will be leading a missions trip - I echo the same prayers of safety and mercies poured out to her . . . . 3) The Office season finale is on this Thursday. Just kidding! That's not number 3 . . . number 3 is that a dear friend from college and her husband are staying with me tomorrow night and I beyond wired to welcome them, having not seen them since their wedding almost one year ago.

One last tidbit from the latest Reader's Digest before I go: "7.5 hours of sleep is the amount that allows your brain to file the day's new information in your memory data bank." That means I best wrap this up, I'm feeling that tomorrow might have enough new information that will require at least 8 hours . . .

Last Saturday morning, I woke up and Trevor had just gotten home from an early run (an insight into how things can change . . . a couple years ago, it would have been the exact opposite, but lately I've taken to sleeping in and Trev is often out the door before I can get myself to roll out of bed. Interesting, if not a bit puzzling. I like to think that we've come to balance each other out in healthy ways). Anyway, we hadn't seen each other at all on that Friday, as we went separate ways to different youth events - me to a most beautifully entertaining ice show featuring lots of sentimental Disney songs (my fave part besides seeing the girl we know was watching the synchronized skating. I had no idea there was such a thing, it was like watching a school of fish, only people . . . on ice . . . you get what I mean), and Trev to a middle school talent show. I asked him how his night was, and he said, "Oh, I have sooooo much to tell you." And boy, with those few words I was WIDE awake and he had a captive audience. I had no idea how much I love hearing those words from my husband! I savored hearing all about every act at the talent show - in fact, the subject kept coming up all day and I got to hear full reports about violin players, joke tellers, and ballerinas. I savored every word, and I thought the whole scenario quite indicative of typical female stereotypes, seemingly always urging men to TALK MORE.

And now, I have so much to tell YOU (or myself, as it may be)! On top of ice show and talent show, we squeezed in another somewhat odd show on Saturday, one we'd been excited for the entire week, having seen signs for it on our way to and from the McD's from which we rent RedBox DVD's. That's right, before noon on Saturday we got our Caribou Coffee and sipped it on our way to . . . a cat show. This might not be so odd, except that we're both quite allergic to cats. The rare opportunity was just too unique to pass up - however it was just a little too expensive to actually enter the show. Fortunately, it was taking place at an indoor hockey rink so, cheapskates that we are, were able to walk the periphery and watch the cats with clarity through the plexiglass partitioned bleachers. There were some lovely cats from what we could see, and several ribbons had already been awarded (for what, I have no idea - the show was put on by AFCA, for which I cannot seem to find a website, nor an explanation of the acronym. Anyone, anyone? Please let me know if you have better luck).

The weekend was, as I told my mom, an exercise in learning how to manage unfulfilled expectations. For whatever reason, I had some lofty expectations in my mind for the weekend, and every several hours something came up that kind of, well, threw them off. Little, not-big-deal-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things like Trev getting called into work Saturday night. Or running out of gas on a highway after lunch on Sunday (just minutes after pulling into a gas station and then deciding to "get it later"!). I was left to ponder expectations - should we set them high? How do we manage them - for ourselves and for others? I say "yes" to both, which I think is where the tension and balance lies. I mean, how often do we say, "That (fill in the blank - movie, meal, experience . . . ) did/didn't meet my expectations." Whether we acknowledge them or not, we always have expectations about almost everything, and I conclude for now that it's a good thing to evaluate them, remaining optimistic but as flexible as possible (um yeah, I have a hard time with the flexible part - I was NOT excited to run out of gas on the highway!). However, what DID meet my expectations - high ones, of course - was a lovely dinner with our dear friend Dave on Saturday night at the Chatterbox Pub. The food was fab, and the company even better. And . . . a Happy B-day to him, as well as a congrats on getting into his film school of choice. YAY! It's a blessing to see friends chasing their passion with purpose and discipline and prayerfully managed expectations.

I'm all of a sudden reminded of my dad's reminder this week of what Dan in Real Life says: "Expect to be surprised." And really, if everything went as I had expected it to . . . I might not have had anything to write about. Hmmmmmmm.

And, I bet you expected this post to mention my two most commented on subjects: the weather and The Office. Nope, not gonna. Later!

Well, I can finally release the breath I've been holding all day - Jim and Pam are still together. No, I'm not that wrapped up, but Trevor and I did just enjoy some hilarity, courtesy Michael Scott and friends of The Office. The most comical part for me was how close one of the scenes came to several meetings I've had at work the past week . . . but then again, that's why the show is funny. Humor is, I find more and more, rooted in reality; the more relevant the comedy, the more truly hilarious it is to the person engaged in it. My question is: is humor always at someone or something's expense?

I have to admit, every time I write - or, more specifically, blog - I wonder many things: "Why do I do this? Does anyone read my entries? Should I care? And even if I knew nobody else did read it, I'd still write, wouldn't I?" The answer my last question (I don't usually talk to myself, I swear!) is usually yes, knowing that this is essentially as close as I come to journaling anymore (which is sad for me to say, I used to journal like mad!). Anyways, I had a huge chuckle today when I received the best piece of mail from my mom: a copy of a page from "The Burke County Tribune," the local newspaper from the region in NW ND where she and my dad grew up. So, I've always gotten a kick out of the "social sections" in these papers, where town residents write in to say what they're doing, where they're going, and who's been visiting them. The detail can be phenomenal, and from an outsider eye might seem quite hilarious, if not quite dull. So, I was reading this article my mom sent, written by someone who had recently visited Minneapolis - and it was fun to read about what they did while they were here, where they ate and shopped and went to church. But of course the cynical voice in the back of my head was thinking, "But why publish all that in a paper?!?" And then it hit me - that is exactly what I do here.

So there's my thought for the week, I got a massive laugh out of this realization, and I think it reminded me about a broad stroke theme in humanity, something I like to remember and appreciate - we're all storytellers, we all want our story to be heard and enjoyed and validated and shared. Mine is told and shared and maybe even heard and enjoyed here on my "blog," and those sweet ladies in NW ND who had a trip to MN told their's in their local newspaper (and I know without a doubt it was enjoyed by everyone who read it, from next door neighbors to perfect strangers hundreds of miles away). Not much different! I promise to never cynically laugh at them anymore than I do at myself. =)